Perfection

Are you a perfectionist? I am. A perfectionist is someone who wants everything to be perfect in their own ways. It can be a very extreme one, or it can be just a perfectionist in a certain area. Ehmm…let me see where I fall into…I think around the middle… (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make it look like a random thing)

I didn’t realize I was one at first. Of course, who realize their bad character/habit at first??!?! Anyway… I’m not going to tell you how I finally realize it ‘cos it’s a…little…SECRET!!!^^ I still can’t distinguish which of my actions or words is considered a perfectionist, but since somethin’ happened recently, I’ll tell u about that...

I’ve been wanting something so badly. I want it so specific. It HAS to be that certain colour. (Okay, dun start freaking out now first, that’s just the start!!) As natural would always have it its way, the colour was unavailable. What’s next? Of course is the ‘I HATE WAITING’ line again. But, obviously, I had to if I want THAT colour. And I want it. So I wait. Not a very long time, just excruciatingly LONG… (note the sarcasm…hehe~ )

Ever thought of giving up? Of course!! Umpteenth times!! But when the moment I had to really choose the OTHER colour (FYI it’s not a bad colour or anything, just not special enough for me… man…what’s with me?!), I couldn’t do it, and decided to put myself into that waiting path again.

Then, an incident pushed my patience to the limit. My sista and her bf were using the phones, but, yea…the OTHER colour. I really wanted to just shout to inner self, ’WHAT IS WRONG WITH U?!?! what’s wrong with having another colour? It’s just colours…’ But those were merely words. Inner, angered words. I still waited, but has come to a really desperate point. Maybe not because of the phone, but the exhaustion of the little war I have with myself.

Who won? Well…as you would’ve guessed, my perfectionist character won. I got the phone in my specific colour. YEAY!! ~~ but the excitements, joy and celebrations happening inside me couldn’t possibly be shared with everyone surrounding me. Worse still, they might even think that I’m such a freak… sigh… but sparkling champagne glasses, victory songs, and all the PARTYING have started!!! ^^

So, back to my perfectionist talk, I am a perfectionist. I liked things to be in my special way. I want them badly. But I realized in life, some things, no lemme correct that… A LOT of things wouldn’t go according to our ways. Those are MIRACLES. SURPRISES. BLESSINGS. They brought sadness, pain, and disappointments initially. But finally, they brought exceeding joy, overwhelming comfort, and overboard happiness. So, be joyful people!