What's happenin' ?!

My life is in a mess.
Everything doesn't seem to go as I wanted it.
Everyone doesn't seem to understand what I'm goin thru.
Am I selfish?
To want a life filled with joy?
a life full of happiness and expectations?
a life full of blessings?

I wanted so much to shout it out.
To pour it all out.
But I ceased in doin it.
I don't want people to hurt me even more.
I'll just hide it. Hide it.
I'll just wait for it to fade. Fade away.
But will it?

My heart aches.
I cry over the slightest thing.
I seeked comfort from a friend.
But he seemed so distant and far.
I tried to reach him but failed.
I wanted to protest but scared he will be sad.
So I hold it. Hold it.
Will it work out?

I hate this confusion.
I hate being in the middle.
I wanna know the truth.
If its gonna hurt, then let it hurt now.
I'm tired of guessing.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of wondering.
Let's put it under the light.

God...
Please stop the pain.
Please stop the confusion.
Please tell me what to do now...

What's happenin' to me?!